Well, it’s been a minute.

Exactly two months since my last post.

Unacceptable.

I take full responsibility. Wedding plans have overtaken my life and we added in the fun of finding our first home!

So to say things have been a little chaotic is a bit of an understatement.

But I am here, thank you all for your patience, support and aloha. You’re the best bums a girl could ask for!

 

Advertisements

Four Months

Yesterday marked exactly four months until my wedding day. And yes, I did have a complete and utter freak out/meltdown/cry feast. Why? Because I simply needed it. I needed to take a moment to get sad, to let it out and feel every emotion I need to feel before I marry the love of my life.

All of my anxiety over the wedding stems from my fear that it will be here way too fast, when I’m not ready. When I’m not ready in regards to; did I enjoy every second of being engaged? have I really soaked it all in before this huge moment in my life? I mean, this is a moment that any little girl dreams about and fantasizes over since she is a little girl and then POOF! faster than the fairy godmother appears, and she’s all grown up and walking down the aisle! Um, did I miss something? Let’s go back and start all over again, I’ll be ready this time I swear!

Over the past few weeks, I have really felt God changing my heart. It has been the coolest thing. He has calmed my fears of moving away from my family and making me strong and capable to step into this next chapter clear headed. He truly has heard my prayers of desperation and fear, of clarity and guidance. Until yesterday.

This overwhelming anxiety crept up on me so quickly and shook me. You know what the trigger was? Typing in the addresses for the invitations and asking my mom “Are my Uncle Steve’s Steven or Stephen!?” To which she said one was StevAn, um, okay mom I know for sure that’s not right. And my lack of patience for that spelling error erupted into tears and hiding under the covers. (Sorry Uncle Steve’s).

I chose to close my computer, exit out of my Pinterest browser and leave every task sent from my wedding planner to the wayside and just cry for the day. An hour and half phone call from my best friend, being by my side and distracting me calmed me down and she assured me that this is all okay. To take the day and just feel every emotion I need to feel.

While on my “clarity run” as I like to call them I asked myself why did this reaction happen? Why am I feeling this way when I so noticeably had felt a change in my heart recently. And it hit me, I wasn’t spending time with God. I had let my devotionals fall to the wayside, I wasn’t diving into His word, I didn’t need my quiet morning time any more because I was where I needed to be. Well, he sure slapped the sense back into me, I need Him.

I had totally taken for granted the sense of peace and tranquility that came when I was so desperately seeking His guidance, once I had my answer I kept on going without Him. I think it is so easy for us to do, we only go to Him when we need something. Like a preteen who only talks to their parents for a $20 bill before walking out the door. So I encourage you all to invest and immerse yourself a smidge more into your relationship with Christ.

He will change your heart and change your perspective.

He will reassure you and make visible the abundance of blessings in each of our lives.

I can lean into Him the next time I simply just need to cry. And we all know, that it is bound to happen.

Damn, who knew I was such an emotional person!?

 

What do I want?

I want to be fulfilled.

I want a job that I love.

I want a job I can be creative in.

I want a job I can help people in.

I want a job I know I am a impacting others with.

I want a job thats fun.

I want a job that screams, me.

For me, I am feeling like this dream job can become a reality through this blog. For a while I have just felt off and for a while every post on here where I really open up and lay it all out, there is a bit of sadness mixed in.

So what do we do to fix this?

I have had so much positive feedback on my writing and what I have been creating and absolutely nothing makes me happier. So I am going to embrace this full force!

I am going to dive in deeper into my blog. I am going to make this page a much bigger priority than I have been.

I am going to just take the damn picture. You all know what I mean. I want to do more fashion style posts or photos of me in front of some super dope graphic wall and tell you all a story to go along with it, but I have been too scared. I am scared because I don’t feel worthy enough to “pretend” to be a rad blogger. But ya know what!? Let’s look at the list I just wrote out, about what I want. So girl, if you want it, ya gotta go be it.

What I need, is your help. What do you want to see? How can I help you? What do you want to hear about and what do you get excited about? Tell me what you love about your favorite blogs and why you keep going to their page time and time again!

I love you all and I am so glad you are on this journey with me.

How He Asked

I am so excited to share with you all, my salty bums, that our proposal story was selected to be featured on HowHeAsked.com!

My hope is that our story warms someones heart, and gives them hope that their prince charming is out there waiting for them. It wasn’t too long ago that I was reading posts on How He Asked, daydreaming about a boy I met in high school and what he was up to now.

Click here to be linked to our post.

In the midst of the stress of wedding planning and the routine of everyday life, it was refreshing to relive our special day and get excited for the events to come.

I am truly blessed.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year bums! I truly hope you had the most magical holiday season full of family, love, and that holiday libations always filled your cup.

img_0241

2016 was just a weird year for me, full of excitement and joy yet entangled with me not feeling like myself. Mixtures of gaining weight and lack of self confidence but having the promise of the man of dreams committed love to me left me feeling all outta whack.

Continue reading

December 12, 2016

Don’t you just love when pieces of advice, or that song that always reminds you of a loved one, or a certain scent just seem to come out of no where and land in your lap?

This was in my devotional this morning, and the timing is perfect.

I Am Taking Care of You

I am taking care of you. Feel the warmth and security of being enveloped in My loving Presence. Every detail of your life is under My control. Moreover, everything fits into a pattern for good, to those who love Me and are called according to My design and purpose.

Because the world is in an abnormal, fallen condition, people tend to think that chance governs the universe. Events may seem to occur randomly, with little or no meaning. People who view the world this way have overlooked one basic fact: the limitations of human understanding. What you know of the world you inhabit is only the tip of the iceberg. Submerged beneath the surface of the visible world are mysteries too vast for you to comprehend. If you could only see how close I am to you and how constantly I work on your behalf, you would never again doubt that I am wonderfully caring for you. This is why you must live by faith, not by sight, trusting in My mysterious, majestic Presence

I hope you have a beautiful Monday, and I hope this may help one of you today right when you need it most.

Christmas Pinspiration

One of the chicest and bum friendly Christmas decorations that instantly merries up any room, is living garland. I really have such a love affair with the texture, the smell, the way it instantly gets you into the Christmas spirit. I especially love seeing it displayed so sweetly outside Trader Joe’s or the Christmas tree lot, such a special home town feel that is hard to find in todays world.

Continue reading

My Gift To You

The simplest, freshest, chicest way to add some Christmas spirit to your everyday? Nail polish. I am a sucker for the names. I am a sucker for sparkle. I am a sucker for the perfect nude. I am a sucker for nail polish.

Julep is a great service that sends new trendy nail polishes and other goodies straight to your door every month and if you are like me, then you get bored of your colors quickly.

julep_holiday_wb_affiliate

So for all of you who have been on this journey with me as I navigate this blogging life, I want to give you all your first box of beauty goodies for free. I mean, you put up with me, you deserve it!